Sometimes I Am Not OK

Being considered in recovery can give those around you the wrong impression, leaving a person to struggle alone. There is no such thing as “all better.” I still have to battle most days, but people see me as being “fine.” Some days it takes everything I have just to carry on a conversation, or even just to smile. The darkness still lurks nearby, I always know it is there. Some days I do not want to fight…I just want to lay here and let the day go by. People have a hard time understanding, when the day before you were cracking jokes. Being me can mean a lot of different things, on different days. The only person I can be true to is myself and when I need time…then I do what is best for me whether it makes sense or not.

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