My Favorite Monster

I wake up…normal day, nothing spectacular, but there it is in my gut…the anxiety. Why? I did not fall asleep worried about anything, I did not think I was worried about anything, but there it is to greet me. It never has a reason to visit, it sure as hell is never welcomed or invited, but it continues to show up. It can be any time during the day or evening…it starts in my gut and works its way to my mind and then everything is chaos. Then all I see is the bad in the world, in my life. I shake, like there is a monster around the corner. I’m not dreaming, the monster is real. Nobody else can tell me I am going to be ok but me. Take my med, breathe, breathe. I sit and try to focus on practicing mindfullness…I start to slow down. I gain control back of my mind. I have scared it off…for now but it will return. He will not free me, but this monster will not rule me.

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