Am I Able?

I went for a job interview today. I guess it went really well because she said she did not need to ask me all the questions. Either that or I was not worth her time, but she said she would contact me tomorrow about my second interview. Yes there is my optimism shining through. I have been on many interviews, but this one was very different. My resume shows that I have written a book…she got very excited about that and asked me what my book was about…panick!

I was honest I just said it was about living with mental illness, then she asked me if I live with one? The book is going to be published so no sense in lying…I told her I have bipolar disorder but have been termed in recovery for a few years so it was not really an issue. But is it? Can I work a job where I do like other “normal” people every day?

I have been working that contract job and if I had to be honest…I do better when I am working. It gives me purpose and I love the social interaction, I am very outgoing. I have spent years working at home and spending a lot of my time alone, that is not always healthy for the brain. The real concern is my lack of energy and can I keep up with 38 hrs/week. It has been 20 years since I have worked a regular full time job! I am out of practice to say the least.

I know how far I have come, I am not the same person I was say 5 years ago. I have learned how to adapt and work with my bipolar disorder. I have come to the decision that I am not making the decision…I am handing this one over to God, he can figure it out cause I just do not know for sure. The funny part is I have applied to I don’t know how many jobs and this lady found me on Indeed.

I trust God and if I am meant to get this job, I will. If not then he knows better than me what I truly am capable of. She may have ended the interview because of me telling her about the bipolar and she figured not a chance in hell. With a book coming out, it is hard to hide. So I have my faith that what is supposed to happen will. If God decides I can do this job…then I damn well can.

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